I am sitting in my Maths classroom, which is full, but not of my classmates. For some reason, instead of desks, there are rows of lab benches, which run from the front of the class to the back. Our teacher introduces a man who, it is reputed, has directed twenty TV documentaries about the Outer Hebrides. Immediately, our ears prick up at the prospect of being on TV. However, it appears that he is here as a self-help guru. He is quite indignant, when the class does not chorus, "Hello," and he nevertheless says, "Thank you." I immediately dislike him. This is compounded when he walks up to a young girl, and chastises her for being disorganised, due to the fact that she has kept an old piece of paper. The final straw comes when he picks up my jacket, throws it at me, and says, "I really don't need this."

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