Splodgenessabounds
[The BBC sitcom can be found here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/twopints.]
A fairly obscure (by today's standards) punk pathetique joke act, Splodgenessabounds will forever be remembered for their pub anthem, Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, Please. You may have heard it on Mark and Lard on Radio One, as part of the Cheesily Cheerful Chart Challenge. And in honour of this feat, your host, Mr. Derek Murray, happily brings you its lyrics in full.
Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, Please
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
I'll have two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
I'll have some pickled onions,
And a little bit of cheese, please.
Thank you.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Eh. Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
And I've got all the right money
And all that, please.
Thank you.
Oi! Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Ay! Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
I've been here half hour
And I'm getting very thirsty!
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Over here!
Oi! Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Why won't you serve me?
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager—
Listen, I'm getting impatient, John!
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps.
Two pints of lager and a packet of fff crisps.
Two pints of lager and a packet of
(Time, gentlemen, please!)
And a packet of crisps.
Oh. Ooh.
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