National Express
Take the National Express when your life's in a mess
It'll make you smile
All human life is here
From the feeble old dear to the screaming child
From the student who knows that to have one of those
Would be suicide
To the family man
Manhandling the pram with paternal pride
And everybody sings 'ba ba ba da..........'
We're going where the air is free
On the National Express there's a jolly hostess
Selling crisps and tea
She'l provide you with drinks and theatrical winks
For a sky-high fee
Mini-skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle
Back in '63 (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
But it's hard to get by when your arse is the size
Of a small country
And everybody sings 'ba ba ba da.....'
We're going where the air is free
Tomorrow belongs to me
When you're sad and feeling blue
With nothing better to do
Don't just sit ther feeling stressed
Take a trip on the National Express
Something For The Weekend
She said
There's something in the woodshed
and I can hear it breathing
it's such an eerie feeling, darling
He said There's nothing in the woodshed
It's your imagination
end of the conversation, darling
Something in his heart told him to come clean
He was not who he claimed to be
Something in his genes told him to pretend
'Twas something for the weekend
But she said
There's something in the woodshed
I know because I saw it
I can't simply ignore it, darling
So he said Now baby don't be stupid
Get this into your sweet head
There ain't nothing in the woodshed (except maybe some wood)
Something in his heart told him to come clean
He was not who he claimed to be
Something in his jeans told him to pretend
'Twas something for the weekend
I'll go all the way with you,
If you'll only do the same for me
Go and see
If it's nothing like you say
then you can have your wicked way with me"
He went down to the woodshed
They came down hard on his head
Gagged and bound and left for dead
When he woke she was gone with his car and all of his money
Everybody Knows (Except You)
Everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
I told the stars above
About the one I love
I told the morning sun
Yeah I'm telling everyone
I told my mum and dad
They seemed to understand
And I'll get through to you
If it's the last thing that I do
Everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
Everybody knows that I live for you
Everybody knows that I adore you
Everybody knows that it's true, except you
I told all of my friends
Again and again and again
I drove them round the bend
So now you're my only friend
I told the passers by
I made a small boy cry
And I'll get through to you
If it's the last thing that I do
'Cos everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
I'm going crazy baby
What do I have to do?
You know I love you baby
Maybe you love me too
Everybody knows that I live for you
Everybody knows that I adore you
Everybody knows that it's true, except you
Except you, except you, except you
How come everybody knows, except you?
Oh everybody knows that I love you
And everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you
Generation Sex
Generation sex respects the rights of girls
Who want to take their clothes off
As long as we can all watch that's o.k.
And generation sex elects the type of guys
You wouldn't leave your kids with
And shout "off with their heads" if they get laid
Lovers watch their backs as hacks in macs
Take snaps through telephoto lenses
Chase Mercedes Benzes through the night
A mourning nation weeps and wails
But keeps the the sales of evil tabloids healthy
The poor protect the wealthy in this world
Generation sex injects the sperm of worms
Into the eggs of field-mice
So you can look real nice for the boys
And generation sex is me and you
And we should really all know better
It doesn't really matter what you say
Becoming More Like Alfie
Once there was a time
when my mind lay on higher things
And once there was a time
I could find pretty words to sing
But now, well now I find
it saves time to say what you mean
I know it seems so unrefined
but it's time to let off some steam
Oh come on!
Everybody knows that No means Yes
just like glasses come free on the N.H.S.
But the more I look through them the more I see
I'm becoming more like Alfie
Once there was a time
when a kind word could be enough
And once there was a time
I could blindfold myself with love
But not now - now I'm resigned
to the kind of life I had reserved
for other guys less smart than I
Y'know - the kind who will always end up with the girls
And besides
everybody knows that No means Yes
just like glasses come free on the N.H.S.
But the more I look through them the more I see
I'm becoming more like Alfie
Oh come on!
I'm becoming more like Alfie
The Summerhouse
Do you remember
The way it used to be
June to September
In a cottage by the sea
Distant cousins, local kids
We climbed every tree together
And it never ever rained
Till we climbed back on the train
That would take us so far away
From the village and the bay
And the summerhouse
Where we found new games to play
Do you remember
Sunday lunch on the lawn
Daring escapes at midnight
And costumeless bathes at dawn.
You were only nine years old
And I was barely ten
It's kind of weird to be back here again
Do you remember
The summerhouse...?
Your Daddy's Car
We took your Daddy's car
And drove it to the sea
We fooled around for hours
And then when we got tired and it got dark
We found a place to park
And we watched the sun set fire to the sea
Can you feel the sadness in our love?
It's the only kind we're worthy of
Can you feel the madness in our hearts
As the key turns and the engine starts?
We took your Daddy's car
And drove it into town
We steamed into a bar
And we bought the biggest bottle of champagne
And driving through the rain we sang
'God bless this car, and all who sail in her!'
We took your Daddy's car
And wrapped it round a tree
We didn't know what for
We didn't feel like driving any more
It was so good we got bored
And we are driving from the day we are born
The Pop Singer's Fear Of The Pollen Count
(Are you ready? OK. 1, 2, 3, 4.)
I fall for this season every time
When it's hot and everybody smiles
I can't help myself
I'm in love with the summertime
Even when I get hay fever I find
I may sneeze but I don't really mind
As long as I'm in love with the summertime
Laugh at the tears you're crying
Smile while your head explodes
You don't have to take this lying down
So blow your nose, baby
And just get your fingers clicking
To the rhythm and the rhyme
Otherwise you'll just be kicking around
And that's a crime
How can you talk that way
On such a lovely day?
When sunshine comes your way
It's time to make some hay-hay!
I fall for this season every time
When it's hot and everybody smiles
I can't help myself
I'm in love with the summertime
Even when I get hay fever I find
I may sneeze but I don't really mind
As long as I'm in love with the summertime
Oh stop your belly-aching
We all know what it's like
There ain't a pill I haven't taken, I guess
But that's alright, baby
'Cause your daddy's car is waiting
To take us to the sea
She feels like celebrating life
And so should we
How can you talk that way
On such a lovely day?
When sunshine comes your way
It's time to make some hay!
Ba da ba-da
Ba da ba-da ba-da-ba
Ba da ba-da
Ba da ba-da ba-da-ba
Ba da ba-da
Ba da ba-da ba-da-ba
La-la-la la-la-la la-la-la la-la-la
I fall for this season every time
When it's hot and everybody smiles
I can't help myself
I'm in love with the summertime
Even when I get hay fever I find
I may sneeze but I don't really mind
As long as I'm in love with the summertime
Summertime
The Frog Princess
I met a girl, she was a frog princess
I guess I ought to make it clear
That I saw nothing through her see-through dress
until she whispered in my ear
You don't really love me
And I don't really mind
'Cause I don't love anybody
That stuff is just a waste of time
Your place or mine?
I met a girl, she was a complete mess
I should've left her well alone, but oh no, not me
I had to see if underneath that dress
her heart was really made of stone
You don't really love me
And I don't really mind
'Cause I don't love anybody
That stuff is just a waste of time
Your place or mine?
I met a girl, she was a frog princess
and yes I do regret it now
But how was I to know that just one kiss
could turn my frog into a cow?
And now I'm rid of her I must confess
To thinking 'bout what might have been
And I can visualize my frog princess
Beneath a shining guillotine
You don't really love me
And baby that's alright
'Cause I don't love anybody,
I come and go through people's love lives
Oh, your place or mine?
Gin Soaked Boy
(1, 2, 3.)
I'm the darkness in the light
I'm the leftness in the right
I'm the rightness in the wrong
I'm the shortness in the long
I'm the goodness in the bad
I'm the saneness in the mad
I'm the sadness in the joy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy
The gin soaked boy
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba
I'm the ghost in the machine
I'm the genius in the gene
I'm the beauty in the beast
I'm the sunset in the east
I'm the ruby in the dust
I'm the trust in the mistrust
I'm the Trojan horse in Troy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy
The gin-soaked boy
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba
I'm the tiger's empty cage
I'm the mystery's final page
I'm the stranger's lonely glance
I'm the hero's only chance
I'm the undiscovered land
I'm the single grain of sand
I'm the Christmas morning toy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy
The gin-soaked boy
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba
I'm the world you'll never see
I'm the slave you'll never free
I'm the truth you'll never know
I'm the place you'll never go
I'm the sound you'll never hear
I'm the course you'll never steer
I'm the will you'll not destroy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy, yeah
The gin-soaked boy
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba de-la-da
Ba ba ba-ba
I'm the half truth in the lie
I'm the why not in the why
I'm the last roll in the die
I'm the old school in the tie
I'm the spirit in the sky
I'm the catcher in the rye
I'm the twinkle in her eye
I'm Jeff Goldblum in The Fly
Well who am I?
Lucy
I travelled among unknown men
In lands beyond the sea;
Nor, England did I know till then
What love I bore to thee.
'Tis past, that melancholy dream!
Nor will I quit thy shore
A second time; for I still seem
To love thee more and more.
Among thy mountains did I feel
The joy of my desire;
And she I cherished turned her wheel
Beside an English fire.
By mornings showed, by nights concealed
The bowers where Lucy played;
And thine too is the last green field
That Lucy's eye surveyed.
She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove,
A Maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love:
A violet by a mossy stone
Half hidden from the eye
Fair as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky.
She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave and, oh
The difference to me
A slumber did my spirit seal;
I had no human fears.
She seemed a thing that could not feel
The touch of earthly eyes.
No motion has she now, no force;
She neither hears nor sees;
Rolled round in earth's diurnal course,
With rocks, and stones, and trees.
Songs Of Love
Pale, pubescent beasts
Roam through the streets and coffee-shops
Their prey gather in herds
Of stiff knee-length skirts
And white ankle-socks
But while they search for a mate
My type hibernate in bedrooms above
Composing their songs of love
Young, uniform minds in uniform lines
And uniform ties
Run round with trousers on fire
And signs of desire
They cannot disguise
While I try to find words
As light as the birds
That circle above
To put in my songs of love
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
So sing while you have time
Let the sun shine down from above
And fill you with songs of love
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
So let's sing while we still can
While the sun hangs high up above
Wonderful songs of love
Beautiful songs of love
In Pursuit of Happiness
Hey, I'm not the type
To say one thing and do another
And if it's all right I'd kind
Of like to be your lover
'Cos when you're with me I can't help but be
So desperately
Uncontrollably
Happy!
And hey, I'm not the kind
To fall in love without good reason
And if that's a crime
Then baby I'm committing high treason
'Cos when you're with me
I'm absolutely
And totally
Quite uncontrollably
Happy!
And hey, I'm not so blind
That I can't see where we're all going
And it's no fault of mine
If humankind reaps what it is sowing
Just as long as we are together
Forever
I'll never be anything other than
Happy!
Hey, don't be suprised
If millions die in plague and murder
True happiness lies
Beyond your fries and happy burger
I've Been To A Marvellous Party
"Well, I must say, it's the most extraordinary experience, well everywhere, and I suppose it's something to do with the sun and all that, but I wouldn't understand it myself really, and I'm not sure it's even legal. You know,..."
Quite for no reason
I'm here for the season
And high as a kite
Living in error
With Maude at Cap Farrat
Which couldn't be right
Ev'ryone's here and frightf'lly gay
Nobody cares what people say
Though the Riviera
Seems really much queerer
Than Rome at its height
On Wednesday night...
I went to a marvellous party
With Nudu and Nana and Nell
It was in the fresh air
And we went as we were
And we stayed as we were, which was hell
Poor Grace started singing at midnight
And didn't stop singing 'til four
We knew the excitement was bound to begin
When Laura got blind on Dubonet and Gin
And scratched her veneer with a Cartier pin
I couldn't have liked it more
I could't have liked it more
I've been to a marvellous party
We played a wonderful game
Maureen disappeared
And came back in a beard
And we all had to guess at her name.
Cecil arrived wearing amour
Some shells and a black feather boa
Poor Millicent wore a surrealist comb
Made of bits of mosaic from St Peter's in Rome
But the weight was so great that she had to go home
Well I couldn't have liked it more
I've been to a marvellous party
I must say the fun was intense
We all had to do
What the people we knew
Might be doing a hundred years hence
We talked about growing old gracefully
And Elsie who's seventy-four
Said, "A, it's a question of being sincere
And B if you're supple you've got nothing to fear"
Then she swung upside down from a chandelier
And I coudn't have liked it more...
"It was the most fabulous excitement, I've never seen such a carry-on. Obviously it couldn't happen anywhere else but on the Riviera. It was most peculiar..."
You know people's behaviour
Away from Belgravia would make you aghast
So much variety watching society scampering past
You know if you had any mind at all
Gibbon's divine Decline and Fall
Well it sounds pretty flimsy
No more than a whimsy
By way of contrast
On Wednesday last...
I went to a marvellous party
We didn't sit down till ten
Y'know young Bobby Carr
Did a stunt at the bar
With a lot of extraordinary men
And then Freda arrived with a turtle
Which shattered us all to the core
And then the Duchess passed out at a quarter to three
And suddenly Cyril cried 'fiddle-de-de'
And he ripped off his trousers and jumped in the sea
I couldn't have liked it more...
I've been to a marvellous party
Elise made an entrance with May
You'd never have guessed
From her fisherman's vest
That her bust had been whittled away
Poor Lulu got fried on chianti
and talked about esprit de corps
Louise made a couple of passes at Gus
And Freddy who hates any kind of fuss
Did half the big apple and twisted his truss
Ha ha! I couldn't have liked it more!
The Certainty of Chance
A butterfly flies through the forest rain
And turns the wind to the hurricane
I know that it will happen
'Cause I believe in the certainty of chance
A schoolboy yawns, sits back and hits return
While round the world computers crash and burn
I know that it will happen
'Cause I believe in the certainty of chance
And I believe
I can see it all so clearly now
You must go and I must set you free
'Cause only that will bring you back to me
I know that it will happen
I'm sure that it must happen
Oh I know that it's gonna happen
Because I believe in the certainty of chance
Too Young To Die
Too young to die
But too old to survive
I've spent too long
Trying to write this song
The tune is okay
But the words are all wrong
Maybe its time for a change
I've lived a lie
Since the day I arrived
Building my dreams
Grand romantic schemes
Now I'm twenty-eight
But I'm still in my teens
Well maybe its time for a change
Now its time to say goodbye
To my suit, my shirt, my tie
My youth seems to have passed me by
And I'm too young to die
I will not weep
For what we leave behind
I must break free
From that part of me
That values the art
Over the humanity
I think its time for a change
I thought that I
Was doing fine
But now I've changed my mind
Now its time to say goodbye
To my suit, my shirt, my tie
My youth seems to have passed me by
And I'm too young to die
Too young to die, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Too young, too young
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh ooh
Maybe its time for a change
Tonight We Fly
Tonight we fly
Over the houses
The streets and the trees
Over the dogs down below
They'll bark at our shadows
As we float by on the breeze
Tonight we fly
Over the chimney tops
Skylights and slates -
Looking into all your lives
And wondering why
Happiness is so hard to find
Over the doctor
Over the soldier
Over the farmer
Over the poacher
Over the preacher
Over the gambler
Over the teacher
Over the rambler
Over the lawyer
Over the dancer
Over the voyeur
Over the builder
And the destroyer
Over the hills and far away
Tonight we fly
Over the mountains
The beach and the sea
Over the friends that we've known
And those that we now know
And those who we've yet to meet
And when we die
Oh, will we be
That disappointed
Or sad
If heaven doesn't exist
What will we have missed
This life is the best
We've ever had
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