This song was intended to be our departure from the theme of food. And, if you look at the beginning, it does manage this. Until the fifth line. You see, we just can't stay off of the subject: it's so compelling. Still, we did manage to make it festive, and so we can call it our Christmas song. It is supposed to resemble an ironic, stereotypical Christmas Day, but, where it doesn't, we were more concerned with the rhyming scheme. Our favourite line is probably: 'Mince pie./ They're real: but why?'

Korma is the third song in our reportoire. The idea to cover Cornershop came from Derek, when he and Jamie were looking through his old Now... albums. The song is based in an Indian restaurant, so stereotypes abound. There is also a side-excursion to the wonderful Three-in-One restaurant in Clarkston. Jamie likes Indian food, and Derek doesn't mind a Chicken Korma ready-meal from M&S. We are divided with our choice of favourite line, Derek preferring to be the eponymous chive-putter, while Jamie likes the references to Three-in-One.

This piece was written during our pink period, when we wanted to capitalise on the astronomical success of Jumbo #5. If you actually read it, you will discover that it is better than Jumbo, but it never received the same acclaim. Our favourite line is most certainly, 'Mike came over with a Kinder surprise/ A chocolate egg that's always great to share,/ And a plastic toy with a gormless stare.'

Jumbo #5 is the original Secret Pastry song, coming from an era when the site wasn't devoted to the delivery of comic lyrics to the masses. It stems from an idea of Derek's that the Lou Bega song, Mambo Number 5, contained many lines that sounded suspiciously close to names of foodstuffs (eg. 'little bit of Rita' - chicken fajita). Our personal favourite line is any instance of 'Crumpet'.

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