mrry (Happy New Year)
Secret Pastry Raspberry Torte 22/Sep/2001

The last thing that you expect to find in your e-mail is an actual message from a real person. Imagine my surprise, then, when I found this high-class Pastry-esque cover of Papa Roach's Last Resort, by Tom Gwillam.

It harks back to the early-Pastry culinary hits, but with the added edge of Country People. And of course, it is wonderful to see the high camp of nu-metal reduced to the high camp of Pastry songs.

Secret Pastry Poseability 8/Apr/2001

Pastry obviously attracts readers who are a cut above the rest. Not only do they visit the site to look at the songs, they turn their own artistic talents to creating comedy songs of their own.

Step forward my dear friends, Gareth Fullarton and Julie McGregor, who conceived the song below. I was lucky enough to be allowed to co-write it with them, over an intense :-) MSN Messenger session. Poseability is a satire on the cult of the mobile phone, and it's set to the tune of Idlewild's recent single, Roseability. Even if you haven't heard the song, which is - however remotely - possible, please look at the song, and enjoy its poetic merits.



PS. My name's Derek Murray, and I am a mobile phone owner. I'm not proud of it. Believe me, it's just for emergency use. Honest...

Secret Pastry Square Go 5/Mar/2001

This is to the tune of A-ha's Take on me. The Reel Big Fish cover is far better, and we wrote this with it, so it may work better. O, and the song is about how much we hate neds. Neds from Edinburgh are the bottomfeeders of this world.

Secret Pastry Mrs. Robertson 2/Mar/2001

It seems that the most popular Pastry songs contain a lot of spleen. So what more appropriate way to write a pæn to our beautiful home town of Glasgow, than to engage our most peculiarly-named organ into writing a song about how much we dislike Edinburgh. Mrs. Robertson is a small persona whom we created to sum up all that is wrong with our cousins in the East. Fortunately and unlike our two previous songs, people of all classes can unite in resent, to the strains of Simon and Garfunkel's Mrs. Robinson.

Secret Pastry Bohemian Raspberry 16/Jan/2001

I'm sure that you can guess the name of the original song this time. Queen's classic hit provided us with our biggest challenge to date, and also our second most popular song. Probably our favourite lines in this one are 'A fondant fantasy?' or 'I'm just a fat boy...'.



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